# Your Grief Is Valid, Even If It Doesn't Fit a Category or Stage (Grief Recovery & Healing Series part 10) [257]

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/joy-lab-navigate-depression-anxiety-stress-with-the-science-of-joy-3565440/permission-to-grieve-how-feeling-it-all-makes-you-more-complete-257
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/joy-lab-navigate-depression-anxiety-stress-with-the-science-of-joy-3565440/permission-to-grieve-how-feeling-it-all-makes-you-more-complete-257.md
Podcast: [Joy Lab |  navigate depression, anxiety, & stress with the science of joy](https://stenobird.com/podcast/joy-lab-navigate-depression-anxiety-stress-with-the-science-of-joy-3565440)
Published: 2026-03-25T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.joylab.coach/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2149181614
Audio file: https://pdrl.fm/f0b7bd/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/joylabpodcast/257._Permission_to_Grieve__How_Feeling_It_All_Makes_You_More_Complete.mp3?dest-id=2775224
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Duration seconds: 775

## Resource

Grief is not a problem to be solved, but a natural companion to joy that expands our capacity for life. This episode explores the 'Other' gate of grief, validating losses that fall outside traditional categories like identity shifts and missed opportunities.

## Highlights
- Main idea: The 'Other' gate validates grief for non-traditional losses like identity transitions, infertility, and faded friendships
- Practical takeaway: Developing 'grief hygiene' through consistent rituals helps build the skill of equanimity
- Failure mode: Avoiding uncomfortable emotions creates a fragile sense of balance that can be easily destroyed by life's storms
- Main idea: True equanimity is not about being untouched by life, but about staying present with both joy and sorrow without being swept away
- Practical takeaway: Recognizing grief as a communal experience can reduce the isolation of personal loss

## Topics

Grief, Emotional Resilience, Equanimity, Mental Health, Loss, Compassion, Identity, Mindfulness

## Chapters
- 1:00 — The Ninth Gate: Other: Exploring losses that don't fit standard frameworks, such as identity shifts, aging, and missed opportunities.
- 1:50 — Permission to Grieve: Validating the importance of acknowledging even small or 'weird' losses to allow emotions to flow.
- 2:40 — Grieving the Unlived Future: Discussing the unique weight of grieving a future that will not happen.
- 4:40 — Equanimity as a Skill: Moving beyond avoidance to build the capacity to hold life's highs and lows with steadiness.
- 5:40 — Navigating the Storm: Learning to touch difficult emotions lightly so they move through us rather than overwhelming us.
- 7:20 — Four Lessons from the Grief Series: Reflecting on grief as a natural, communal, and skill-based process that enhances mental health.
- 9:00 — The Connection Between Grief and Joy: How embracing sorrow increases our capacity for compassion, wisdom, and profound joy.

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## Transcript

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