Episode
Why I Miss My Hallucinations with Kit Wallis aka SchizoKitzo
- Podcast
- Inside Mental Health
- Published
- Apr 16, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 1878
- Processing state
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Summary
Most people think "hearing voices" would be a nightmare symptom of mental illness, but for some, it feels more like a friendship. In the medical world, hallucinations and delusions are symptoms to be eliminated. But for Kit Wallis, the reality of living with schizoaffective disorder is far more complicated. For years, she shared her life with her delusions, including Orion, a "sassy, funny, and supportive" internal voice who helped her study, hyped her up for exams, and ensured she was never truly alone. In a culture that views psychosis through a lens of fear, Kit saw her symptoms as a lifeline. However, when a life-altering psychotic break required antipsychotic medication, the "recovery" came with a devastating price. As the medication began to work, her voices didn't just fade — they "broke up like a bad phone call." Kit didn't just lose her symptoms; she lost her closest friends. Listeners will take-a-way: Understanding the mourning process Kit experienced when medication worked to eliminate her hallucinations Why the medical community often ignores the "positive" aspects of psychosis Kit’s conflict surrounding wanting the voices back while knowing the importance of treatment In this deeply personal conversation, host Gabe Howard and guest Kit Wallis explore the "hard dialectic" of mental health: the grief of getting well and the complicated mourning process that sometimes follows successful treatment. Listen now! "No one really warns you about losing the good stuff, too … They just think, ‘Oh, psychosis is all bad. We want it all gone.’ But stories like mine aren't really out there very often." ~Kit Wallis aka SchizoKitzo Our guest, Kit Wallis, who goes by SchizoKitzo, is a content creator who advocates for schizoaffective and bipolar disorders. She uses long-for…