# How To Stop Faking It and Start Being Honest In Bed

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-have-sex-7724627/how-to-stop-faking-it-and-start-being-honest-in-bed
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-have-sex-7724627/how-to-stop-faking-it-and-start-being-honest-in-bed.md
Podcast: [How To Have Sex](https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-have-sex-7724627)
Published: 2026-07-21T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://shows.acast.com/how-to-have-sex/episodes/how-to-stop-faking-it-and-start-being-honest-in-bed
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/699e41e8a4a9e6b7fd8ba4c5/e/6a5dcdc9461a6a41900465e7/media.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/how-to-have-sex-7724627/episodes/how-to-stop-faking-it-and-start-being-honest-in-bed
Duration seconds: 2163

## Resource

Confession time: we've both faked it. 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️ This week Jay-Jay and Mel get real about faking it, and we're not just talking about orgasms. We're talking about every quiet way we abandon ourselves in bed: nodding along, holding our breath, pretending we're way more flexible than we actually are. Mel breaks down why faking it is actually a smart nervous-system survival strategy, not a character flaw, and how it quietly builds resentment and chore sex over time if left unchecked. We get into the four stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and the one nobody talks about, fawn, plus real phrases to use instead of faking it, and how to take feedback from a partner without spiralling. We also talk a little too much about swallowing. By the end, you'll have real language to use tonight, a pleasure practice to try this week, and hopefully a little less pressure to perform and a little more permission to just be honest. 💌 Subscribe to our Substack for early episodes, our weekly pleasure practice and behind-the-scenes extras. 🎓 How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets . Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtoha…

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## Transcript

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