# How to Self-Pleasure (and Why it Will Change Your Partnered Sex Life)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-have-sex-7724627/how-to-self-pleasure-and-why-it-will-change-your-partnered-sex-life
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-have-sex-7724627/how-to-self-pleasure-and-why-it-will-change-your-partnered-sex-life.md
Podcast: [How To Have Sex](https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-have-sex-7724627)
Published: 2026-05-12T06:45:00+00:00
Episode link: https://shows.acast.com/how-to-have-sex/episodes/how-to-self-pleasure-and-why-it-will-change-your-partnered-s
Audio file: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/699e41e8a4a9e6b7fd8ba4c5/e/6a012612668fe6d31ff18d63/media.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/how-to-have-sex-7724627/episodes/how-to-self-pleasure-and-why-it-will-change-your-partnered-sex-life
Duration seconds: 3121

## Resource

Did you know your solo sex life is literally the foundation of your partnered sex life? In this episode, Jay-Jay finally figures out why this topic makes her want to crawl under the duvet and never come out, and it's more relatable than you'd think. Certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down everything women were never taught about self-pleasure: where the shame actually comes from, why we were never given this education, and how exploring your own body is one of the most powerful things you can do for your sex life, with or without a partner. We cover: Why female self-pleasure has been stigmatised for centuries (and male pleasure hasn't) How self-pleasure builds body literacy and improves partnered sex Why rushing is the biggest mistake most people make How to diversify your pleasure and avoid being wired to only one pathway Whether you can get "addicted" to your vibrator (yes, really) Masturbating in front of your partner - hot or not? How to handle mismatched libidos without guilt or obligation sex Jay-Jay has an unexpected breakthrough on camera that stopped us both Plus Mel's pleasure practice for the week, and Jay-Jay's very honest response to it. Next episode: How to Get Your Needs Met in Bed (Without Turning It Into a Performance Review). How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets . Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com INSTAGRAM https://w…

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## Transcript

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