# #31 How To Use Play To Set Limits and Boundaries | With Dr. Kim Van Dusen

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-deal-6351386/31-how-to-use-play-to-set-limits-and-boundaries-with-dr-kim-van-dusen
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-deal-6351386/31-how-to-use-play-to-set-limits-and-boundaries-with-dr-kim-van-dusen.md
Podcast: [How To Deal](https://stenobird.com/podcast/how-to-deal-6351386)
Published: 2026-07-24T15:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcast.attachmentnerd.com/episode/how-to-use-play-to-set-limits-and-boundaries-with-dr-kim-van-dusen
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/86879b90-5c0c-4b97-a6c0-4a9fb4085f5f.mp3
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Duration seconds: 1484

## Resource

How to Deal with Parenting Through Play | Dr. Kim Van Dusen Episode Summary What if the secret to fewer tantrums, less mealtime drama, and a deeper connection with your kids wasn't stricter rules — but more play? In this episode, Eli sits down with Dr. Kim Van Dusen, PsyD, licensed marriage and family therapist and registered play therapist known as The Parentologist, to talk about how to weave playfulness into the everyday moments of parenting — even if you don't think you have a playful bone in your body. From gamifying chores to helping traumatized children feel safe, Dr. Kim shows us that play is the universal language of childhood, and learning to speak it changes everything. Key Takeaways You don't have to sit on the floor for 30 minutes to be a playful parent. Dr. Kim calls them "playful pockets of time" — small, creative moments woven throughout the day (swapping a fork for tongs, cutting a sandwich into a fun shape) that shift the entire energy of parenting. Gamifying works. From racing to make the bed to "freeze clean" during chores, turning tasks into games eliminates power struggles and gets the job done — without the drama. Play is the language of children , especially those who have experienced trauma. When kids can't (or won't) speak about their pain, drawing, playing, and creating tells the story instead — and your job is to listen to the play. Safety and trust come before play with kids from hard places. If a child doesn't feel safe, they won't connect — and connection must come before cooperation. Picky eating is a sensory experience. Research shows it can take up to 8–24 exposures before a child accepts a new food. Changing the texture, presentation, or even the serving vessel (hello, dump truck plate!) is exposure therapy in disguise. Outcomes vs. C…

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