# How to Make Friends with Fear

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/heretic-hereafter-podcast-7475240/how-to-make-friends-with-fear
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/heretic-hereafter-podcast-7475240/how-to-make-friends-with-fear.md
Podcast: [Heretic Hereafter Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/heretic-hereafter-podcast-7475240)
Published: 2026-05-20T11:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://heretichereafter.substack.com/p/how-to-make-friends-with-fear
Audio file: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/197467198/9f60760eb485360c896335ca68b60748.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/heretic-hereafter-podcast-7475240/episodes/how-to-make-friends-with-fear
Duration seconds: 367

## Resource

Maybe you’re thinking to yourself: why would I want to do that? Maybe that phrasing strikes you as odd. Don’t we want to get rid of fear? It’s not only an unpleasant feeling, it’s one that we judge ourselves for. We want to see ourselves as brave, so we try to ignore or resist feeling fear. The trouble is, the more you try to resist an emotion, the stronger it gets. Our bodies were designed to keep us alive, not happy, so the more you try to push away your fear, the stronger it will become. The trick, then, is recognizing and accepting our fear. But…how? Heretic Hereafter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. The Four T’s of Snakebites Growing up in Western Montana, part of being in the outdoors was preparing for encounters with wildlife such as grizzly bears, mountain lions, and snakes. As a camp counselor, I took classes in wilderness first aid, where I asked many questions about snake bites, being VERY SCARED of stepping on a rattler enroute to the bath house in the middle of the night. The instructor laughed at my questions. “You want to know what to watch out for so you don’t get bit by a snake? Let me tell you.” He pivoted towards the white board and wrote: “AVOID: * trailer parks * tank tops * testosterone * tequila” His assessment was rather classist (#notalltrailerparks) but the point was that most people who get bit by snakes are those who deliberately mess with snakes. Their innate fear had been lessened by peer pressure and/or alcohol. The results were predictable. Fear is a powerful emotion that exists deep in the most primitive part of our brains. It’s the same part of your brain that makes you jerk your hand away from a hot stove. The response is designed to be quick, byp…

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## Transcript

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