# Marriage Humility: When Your Intensity Becomes Your Marriage's Biggest Problem | Dr. Malamakis

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/heavy-things-lightly-296775/marriage-humility-when-your-intensity-becomes-your-marriage-s-biggest-problem-dr-malamakis
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/heavy-things-lightly-296775/marriage-humility-when-your-intensity-becomes-your-marriage-s-biggest-problem-dr-malamakis.md
Podcast: [Heavy Things Lightly](https://stenobird.com/podcast/heavy-things-lightly-296775)
Published: 2026-07-04T17:16:01+00:00
Episode link: https://johnheersftf.substack.com/p/marriage-humility-when-your-intensity
Audio file: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/204707374/1f8650937eb14a865f430094cb747aa7.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/heavy-things-lightly-296775/episodes/marriage-humility-when-your-intensity-becomes-your-marriage-s-biggest-problem-dr-malamakis
Duration seconds: 5308

## Resource

Find this episode on YouTube: Dr. Philip Mamalakis says you'd take a bullet for your wife. But would you fix the light in the freezer she's been asking about for six weeks?That gap — between the heroic love we imagine and the ordinary love we're actually called to — is exactly what this conversation is about.Dr. Philip Mamalakis teaches the core courses in Pastoral Care at Hellenic College Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology, alongside electives in pastoral counseling, grief, marriage and family, and pastoral care and mental health. He has published widely on Orthodox marriage and marital counseling, and is the author of Parenting Toward the Kingdom (Ancient Faith Publishing, 2016) — the best-selling Orthodox parenting book — and the father of seven.He joined John Heers on Heavy Things Lightly for one of the most grounded, honest, and quietly radical conversations about love, marriage, and faith you'll hear anywhere.In this episode:- Why Dr. Mamalakis teaches seminary students the sacrament of listening — and why their wives notice the difference by the end of the semester- The danger of coming into Orthodoxy with the wrong kind of intensity and how the Church actually heals that- What happens when you bow down at your wife's feet mid-argument (and why John's Nigerian friends did not approve)- The difference between solving problems and walking with people — and why most priests are trained to do the wrong one- Why "responsive" is a better word than "love" — and what that means in marriage, parenting, and pastoral care- How modern psychology and ancient Orthodox anthropology actually complement each other (instead of conflicting)Dr. Mamalakis's upcoming parenting book: what to do in the heat of the moment, for every parent who says "don't tell me principles, t…

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## Transcript

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