# Om Rupani: What She Actually Needs From You That Has Nothing To Do With Being Nice | EP 79

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/heart-of-man-men-s-leadership-relationships-and-intimacy-6476755/om-rupani-what-she-actually-needs-from-you-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-being-nice-ep-79
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/heart-of-man-men-s-leadership-relationships-and-intimacy-6476755/om-rupani-what-she-actually-needs-from-you-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-being-nice-ep-79.md
Podcast: [Heart of Man | Men's Leadership, Relationships and Intimacy](https://stenobird.com/podcast/heart-of-man-men-s-leadership-relationships-and-intimacy-6476755)
Published: 2026-06-10T14:05:15+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heartofman/episodes/Om-Rupani-What-She-Actually-Needs-From-You-That-Has-Nothing-To-Do-With-Being-Nice--EP-79-e3kjg7k
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/dfbdca10/podcast/play/121274036/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-5-10%2F425868202-44100-2-036b195bf7c4.mp3
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Duration seconds: 4622

## Resource

Om Rupani is back for his second round on Heart of Man... And today, I'm very excited to address this exact topic with him through his background in BDSM, which I see is very prevalent in the lives of many men: Nice Guy Syndrome. When I completed his seven day BDSM Fundamentals training last year, it was a transformative experience for me, and one of the first things I recognised was how powerful it was to resolve any remaining remnants of myself still navigating the Nice Guy Mask. On the podcast, we've had Dr. Robert Glover, who wrote the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy," on the show twice. But today, we'll have the opportunity to look at this through the lens of someone who supports individuals every day to become better leaders through the medium of BDSM, which I see offers him a unique perspective. For those who need a refresher: Om Rupani is a teacher, author, and speaker who's been teaching about BDSM, polarity, and man–woman relating for almost 2 decades. He's also the author of Prerequisites to Ecstasy, a no-nonsense guide exploring what it truly takes to create the love and intimacy we say we want. Today, his work focuses on helping men embody their masculinity with confidence and depth, supporting women in cultivating passionate, harmonious relationships with their men, and guiding singles and couples to consciously integrate elements of BDSM into their intimacy. In this conversation, Om and I explore: What the Nice Guy persona is, and why it functions as a mask to control how others see you How it forms through the mother wound and the absence of strong fathers Why physical training alone misses the point, and what actually dissolves this pattern The distinction between domineering and dominant, and what genuine leadership requires Why BDSM is the clearest way Om…

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