# Socially Monogamous, Sexually Free with John & Jackie Melfi of OpenLove101

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/happy-slut-7449420/socially-monogamous-sexually-free-with-john-jackie-melfi-of-openlove101
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/happy-slut-7449420/socially-monogamous-sexually-free-with-john-jackie-melfi-of-openlove101.md
Podcast: [Happy Slut](https://stenobird.com/podcast/happy-slut-7449420)
Published: 2026-07-15T10:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://00af448d-cb72-4d4b-ab90.captivate.fm
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/a86ae9c1-c022-4d48-b527-05197895e774.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/happy-slut-7449420/episodes/socially-monogamous-sexually-free-with-john-jackie-melfi-of-openlove101
Duration seconds: 3791

## Resource

Pinecones, this week is a little different: a joint episode! I traveled to Houston to sit down with John and Jackie Melfi—leaders in the American swinger community, owners of the legendary Colette lifestyle clubs (Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and New Orleans), and the couple behind OpenLove101.com , where I used to blog back in the day. Between them they've got three-plus decades of experience with non-monogamous marriage, swinging, and sexual freedom, and their studio team handled the filming, so you KNOW it looks good. Full disclosure: John and Jackie and I don't agree on everything—the swinger world is a lot more politically diverse than the poly/ENM crowd—and that's kind of the point. This is what it looks like to connect across differences on the things that matter: autonomy, freedom, pleasure, joy, and integrity while pursuing all of the above. In this episode: Social monogamy vs. sexual monogamy—and why those "monogamous" birds are hiding a scandal in the nest If we were naturally monogamous, we wouldn't need so many rules How John went from Star Trek nerd to lifestyle club owner (via one very inspiring night in Amsterdam) The high school double-date that turned into a marriage… three decades later Jackie's journey from strict monogamy to sexual empowerment—and the daily journaling that became OpenLove101 Comets: the long-distance lovers (and friends!) you keep for years—and John's realization that he's been collecting them all along Why we need to stop fetishizing romantic relationships and start honoring romantic friendships My marriage, my divorce-in-progress, and what happens when someone loves the idea of you more than the actual you The childhood shame stories John and I both carry from first grade—and how shame rewrites our memories The myth that…

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