# Chemistry Isn’t Compatibility: How to Choose Better Partners in Love and Work - w/ Matt Higgins

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/growth-mindset-psychology-the-science-of-self-improvement-615575/chemistry-isn-t-compatibility-how-to-choose-better-partners-in-love-and-work-w-matt-higgins
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/growth-mindset-psychology-the-science-of-self-improvement-615575/chemistry-isn-t-compatibility-how-to-choose-better-partners-in-love-and-work-w-matt-higgins.md
Podcast: [Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement](https://stenobird.com/podcast/growth-mindset-psychology-the-science-of-self-improvement-615575)
Published: 2026-04-10T04:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/mgln.ai/e/35/pfx.vpixl.com/k7b9t/op3.dev/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.megaphone.fm/NSR8580109891.mp3?updated=1775795207
Audio file: https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/mgln.ai/e/35/pfx.vpixl.com/k7b9t/op3.dev/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.megaphone.fm/NSR8580109891.mp3?updated=1775795207
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/growth-mindset-psychology-the-science-of-self-improvement-615575/episodes/chemistry-isn-t-compatibility-how-to-choose-better-partners-in-love-and-work-w-matt-higgins
Duration seconds: 1410

## Resource

The psychology of healthy relationships: hidden rules behind better marriages, better teams, and better choices. In this episode, I sit down with legendary investor Matt Higgins to dissect the psychology of lasting relationships. It turns out that a staggering number of startups and marriages implode for the exact same reason: we mistake thrilling friction for long-term compatibility. We are remarkably bad at predicting who will actually help us bail water when the ship sinks. Rather than seeking our exact opposites to fill our gaps, evidence suggests we should hunt for a deeply unsexy but highly effective alternative: overlapping values. From the unexpected wisdom of arranged marriages to the quiet triumph of marrying your best friend, this is a delightfully sideways look at forming our most vital alliances. Why seeking your exact opposite is a fantastic recipe for mutual resentment The fascinating psychology behind why the fish always rots from the head in bad leadership How to utilize genuine self-awareness to build cheerfully boring, drama-free partnerships Listen in to discover the surprisingly positive science of selecting people who won't drive you mad. SPONSORS 🌳 ⁠⁠Acorns⁠⁠ Smart way to grow your money $5 welcome bonus ⁠⁠⁠Acorns.com/PSYCHOLOGY⁠⁠ NEW SHOW - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How to Change the World: The History and Future of Innovation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn about the evolving story of the human species and our ideas told in chronological order. The podcast is full of fun facts, surprising stories and philosophical insights. Found on all major podcast players: Spotify - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…

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