# Poly-Queer Therapist: How Your Discomfort is Key to Happier Relationships

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/getting-close-7648550/poly-queer-therapist-how-your-discomfort-is-key-to-happier-relationships
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/getting-close-7648550/poly-queer-therapist-how-your-discomfort-is-key-to-happier-relationships.md
Podcast: [Getting Close](https://stenobird.com/podcast/getting-close-7648550)
Published: 2026-03-03T11:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/p/poly-queer-therapist-how-your-discomfort
Audio file: https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/api.substack.com/feed/podcast/189573231/c7aca1e477ae95724d765e851c005122.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/getting-close-7648550/episodes/poly-queer-therapist-how-your-discomfort-is-key-to-happier-relationships
Duration seconds: 3281

## Resource

What if I told you discomfort was the secret to better relationships? In this episode, Rachel Wright joins me to talk about the fascinating way that discomfort can help you have better relationships of any structure. We explore the nuances of modern friendship, letting people down, secret patterns running our relationships, monogamy unlearnings, and the unique way gay couples are more likely to be open vs. poly. Rachel Wright is a distinguished psychotherapist and renowned speaker with expertise in modern relationships, mental health, and sex. With a Master’s Degree in clinical psychology, Rachel has worked with thousands of clients worldwide and has been featured in The New York Times , Women’s Health, Cosmo and more. Rachel currently lives in New York City with her wife and two kids. We unpack: * How to let people down healthily * What gay couples need to do to practice openness better * How ingrained patterns shape shapes the way we love * How non-monogamy can show up in our youth before we have language for it * Whether or not nonmonogamy is a orientation or a preference * And how expanding our distress tolerance can change the way we approach openness Chapters (00:00) Introduction (02:28) Exploring Healthy Communication in Relationships (14:37) The Journey to Becoming a Therapist (17:53) Reflections on Non-Monogamy and Youth Experiences (22:42) Core Beliefs About Relationships and Non-Monogamy (25:00) Unlearning Monogamy and Embracing Discomfort (27:19) Navigating Discomfort in Relationships (29:42) Understanding Non-Monogamy as an Orientation (32:27) Timing and Trust in Non-Monogamous Conversations (34:22) Unpacking Emotional Scripts in Non-Monogamy (37:45) Language and Representation in Non-Monogamous Relationships (42:45) Emotional Depth in Gay Relationships (4…

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