# If You Accidentally Became the Default Parent

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/get-mom-ready-podcast-7501224/if-you-accidentally-became-the-default-parent
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/get-mom-ready-podcast-7501224/if-you-accidentally-became-the-default-parent.md
Podcast: [Get Mom Ready Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/get-mom-ready-podcast-7501224)
Published: 2026-03-02T02:43:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.getmomready.com/p/if-you-accidentally-became-the-default
Audio file: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/189060677/c1440ef83f8dcd4407fe3628c9ce4349.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/get-mom-ready-podcast-7501224/episodes/if-you-accidentally-became-the-default-parent
Duration seconds: 2641

## Resource

If you’ve ever found yourself doing the “invisible work” of your home while also trying to keep everyone alive, fed, and emotionally okay… this episode is for you. This week, Meredith, Hannah, and Anna talk about what’s underneath “I’m fine, I’ve got it,” and why asking for help often feels harder than just doing the thing (even when we’re drowning). Holly is traveling this week, but we’ll be circling back soon to unpack what this season of travel has been like for her, with and without Iris. What we’re really talking about: asking for help in real life This episode isn’t a “make a better chore chart” conversation. It’s about the lived experience of motherhood where: * your brain is carrying 47 tabs open * your body is overstimulated by the end of the day * resentment starts to feel like a pressure in your chest * and you can’t even find the words to say what you need… until you’re already past capacity We talk about how to notice what’s happening sooner, how to ask more directly, and how to do it in a way that invites partnership instead of defensiveness. Here are the big themes we address. 1. “Take responsibility for the help you need.” That sentence hit because it’s not about blaming anyone—it’s about recognizing: my system is overloaded, and I need to say so out loud. Not passive aggression. Not storming around. Not silently keeping score. Just the brave, honest moment of: “I feel like I’m carrying a lot. Can we talk about where we can shift things?” Anna referenced a really helpful Big Little Feelings Substack post that captures the “default parent” tension so well. Here’s the link . 2. The “behind the sink” resentment Meredith named something so many of us feel but don’t always know how to explain: Sometimes our partner is “helping”… but we’re still the CEO of th…

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## Transcript

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