# The Pastor's Wife Nobody Saw: Jessica's Story [378]

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/flying-free-1331214/the-pastor-s-wife-nobody-saw-jessica-s-story-378
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/flying-free-1331214/the-pastor-s-wife-nobody-saw-jessica-s-story-378.md
Podcast: [Flying Free](https://stenobird.com/podcast/flying-free-1331214)
Published: 2026-06-09T17:30:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.flyingfreenow.com/378
Audio file: https://2.gum.fm/op3.dev/e/pdcn.co/e/pdst.fm/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/media.transistor.fm/1113023d/f3be09c7.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/flying-free-1331214/episodes/the-pastor-s-wife-nobody-saw-jessica-s-story-378
Duration seconds: 4756

## Resource

In this episode, I sit down with my real-life friend Jessica, a pastor's wife whose story intersects with mine: her husband was a pastor at the very church that excommunicated me. What started as a conversation about her story turned into one of the most layered, honest episodes I think we've ever recorded. Jessica spent decades being told her emotions were idols, her feelings weren't facts, and her needs were sin problems she needed to repent of. In this conversation, she shares what it took to finally see through that, what the long road out of a high-control religious marriage actually looks like, and why freedom sometimes takes many years to arrive even after the divorce papers are signed. Questions we cover: What does it actually take to leave when your abuser is also your pastor husband? Why do so many women choose the familiar over the safe? Is codependency just a fancy way to blame the victim? What does it look like when someone uses scripture as a weapon? What does a pastor's wife do when she can't tell anyone the truth? What actually happens when you let yourself grieve? What does it take to actually push yourself out? Get Today’s Free Resource: 🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.com I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

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## Transcript

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