# 261. How to Stop People-Pleasing Without Becoming Rigid ft. Dr. Paula Freedman-Diamond

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/261-how-to-stop-people-pleasing-without-becoming-rigid-ft-dr-paula-freedman-diamond
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/261-how-to-stop-people-pleasing-without-becoming-rigid-ft-dr-paula-freedman-diamond.md
Podcast: [Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663)
Published: 2026-02-16T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://findingmrheight.com/podcast
Audio file: https://mgln.ai/e/137/s.gum.fm/s-622f6d1f9b96ac24488cce98/audio4.redcircle.com/episodes/a152fb8e-7deb-44e3-84c5-aa3f01c6bb49/stream.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/episodes/261-how-to-stop-people-pleasing-without-becoming-rigid-ft-dr-paula-freedman-diamond
Duration seconds: 4874

## Resource

Dr. Paula Freedman-Diamond joins Ali to discuss people-pleasing and how it relates to control in dating and relationships. Paula, a therapist and author of Toxic Striving, breaks down how people-pleasing and rigid boundary-setting are two sides of the same coin: both are attempts to control outcomes and avoid uncomfortable feelings. The conversation explores how to identify when you're prioritizing external validation over your own values and what the middle ground looks like between being overly accommodating and overly rigid. Paula also shares insights on acceptance and commitment therapy, learning to hold your desires lightly while staying grounded in your values. In Updates, Ali shares a vulnerable conversation that originally aired on the Patreon about societal expectations around women's appearance. This week's Media Mention is: "The New Rules of Dating for Ambitious Women" from the Ambition 2.0 podcast (by Girlboss), featuring breakup expert and friend of the pod Amy Chan. Where to find Dr. Paula: On Instagram @mindfuldrpaula , on TikTok @mindfuldrpaula , at www.paulafreedmandiamond.com and www.humankindpsych.com . Grab Dr. Paula's Book "Toxic Striving" here: www.paulafreedmandiamond.com Timestamps: Dr. Paula joins us at around minute 33. Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . Thanks to this week’s partners: Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get…

## Actions

- request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/episodes/261-how-to-stop-people-pleasing-without-becoming-rigid-ft-dr-paula-freedman-diamond/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode.
- read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/finding-mr-height-the-podcast-3584663/261-how-to-stop-people-pleasing-without-becoming-rigid-ft-dr-paula-freedman-diamond.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource.

A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed.

## Transcript

Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.