# The Hidden Reason You Can't Stop Overthinking, People-Pleasing And Overworking with Dr Nicole LePera #664

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/feel-better-live-more-with-dr-rangan-chatterjee-790970/the-hidden-reason-you-can-t-stop-overthinking-people-pleasing-and-overworking-with-dr-nicole-lepera-664
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/feel-better-live-more-with-dr-rangan-chatterjee-790970/the-hidden-reason-you-can-t-stop-overthinking-people-pleasing-and-overworking-with-dr-nicole-lepera-664.md
Podcast: [Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee](https://stenobird.com/podcast/feel-better-live-more-with-dr-rangan-chatterjee-790970)
Published: 2026-06-09T23:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://drchatterjee.com/664⁠
Audio file: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/mgln.ai/e/p6315/traffic.megaphone.fm/FBLM7505586553.mp3?updated=1780924539
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Duration seconds: 7237

## Resource

Why do we sometimes react in ways we don’t mean to? Why does criticism land so heavily when others can brush it off? And why, even when life looks good from the outside, do we feel stuck on the inside? This week’s guest offers a new perspective on all this – and an optimistic way forward. With nearly 10 million followers on Instagram as The Holistic Psychologist, Dr Nicole LePera has helped countless people see their lifelong patterns through a helpful new lens. She joins me to discuss her fantastic book, Reparenting the Inner Child: The New Science of Our Oldest Wounds and How to Heal Them. At the heart of our conversation is an important idea: we don’t see the world as it is, we see it through the state of our nervous system. Nicole highlights the signs that yours may be calling the shots, such as restlessness, numbness, disproportionate reactions and the constant need to be busy. And she explains how those patterns trace back to a part of us shaped long before we had the language for it: our inner child. We explore how childhood adaptations follow us into adulthood, often without us realising, shaping our relationships, our careers, our sensitivity to criticism, and our self-worth. Nicole walks us through some of the parent archetypes from her book. And we discuss the universal choice every child makes between authenticity and attachment (and what this costs us later). Importantly, this is never about blaming, parent or child – acceptance of the past (rather than approval or forgiveness) is how we begin to change. You’ll be fascinated to hear Nicole explain how trauma from generations before us may still be wired into our bodies, but we can break the cycle. We also discuss why conflict in relationships can be healthy, and why healing is a two-step process: becoming…

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