# Why “Gentle Parenting” Fails Your Kids: What Really Works with Big Reactors by Claire Lerner, LICSW

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/early-childhood-investigations-7652274/why-gentle-parenting-fails-your-kids-what-really-works-with-big-reactors-by-claire-lerner-licsw
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/early-childhood-investigations-7652274/why-gentle-parenting-fails-your-kids-what-really-works-with-big-reactors-by-claire-lerner-licsw.md
Podcast: [Early Childhood Investigations](https://stenobird.com/podcast/early-childhood-investigations-7652274)
Published: 2026-03-20T16:15:27+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hannahbitoteter4/episodes/Why-Gentle-Parenting-Fails-Your-Kids-What-Really-Works-with-Big-Reactors-by-Claire-Lerner--LICSW-e3go70u
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/10e6eb298/podcast/play/117234142/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-2-20%2F420441270-44100-2-6fb39ae2ae079.mp3
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Duration seconds: 5004

## Resource

RESOURCES ⁠Watch the full webinar here⁠ Join our newsletter! Earn your Professional Development hours with FREE sessions delivered right to your inbox every week. ⁠Check out the producer of ECI, Playground, the Child Care Management Software With big reactors, “gentle parenting” often doesn’t work. These children tend to reject calming tools. As one six-year-old put it, “I remember the tools before; I remember them after; I just don’t remember them in the middle.” They often find it intrusive and overwhelming when parents validate and talk about their emotions. This can lead to outbursts like, “Stop talking to me! Stop telling me that! I’m not sad!” When their brains and bodies are flooded with big emotions, the more parents, teachers, and caregivers try to convince them to cooperate, the less likely they are to do so. This workshop—based on Claire Lerner, LICSW’s new book, Big Reactors: Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children —will present key insights and tools to help anyone supporting a young child’s development. You’ll learn how to thread the needle of being connected, sensitive, and responsive while also setting the firm limits big reactors need to develop self-regulation and thrive. If you care for a child(en) who goes from 0 to 100 in a nanosecond when things don’t go their way; who seems laser-focused on being in power and control; who can’t tolerate correction and blames others for everything; and with whom few, if any, conventional cooperation strategies work—this webinar is for you. Drawing from decades of work with these complex and often confusing children, Claire will share detailed case examples and reveal the “detective work” process she uses to help parents, teachers, and caregivers uncover the root causes of challenging behaviors…

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## Transcript

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