# [Free 1st Part] Why “What Do I Want?” Is the Wrong Question

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/driving-to-the-rez-with-inelia-benz-and-larry-buzzell-704885/free-1st-part-why-what-do-i-want-is-the-wrong-question
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/driving-to-the-rez-with-inelia-benz-and-larry-buzzell-704885/free-1st-part-why-what-do-i-want-is-the-wrong-question.md
Podcast: [Driving to the Rez - With Inelia Benz and Larry Buzzell](https://stenobird.com/podcast/driving-to-the-rez-with-inelia-benz-and-larry-buzzell-704885)
Published: 2026-02-18T14:00:58+00:00
Episode link: https://dttr.substack.com/p/why-what-do-i-want-is-the-wrong-question-pt1
Audio file: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/188373297/1233197a9c2dec9f39684640ec673dff.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/driving-to-the-rez-with-inelia-benz-and-larry-buzzell-704885/episodes/free-1st-part-why-what-do-i-want-is-the-wrong-question
Duration seconds: 2383

## Resource

Choosing Beyond Comfort, Fear, and Personal Trajectory “What do I want?” feels intuitive, but it may be the wrong question to ask when shaping a life. I would like to have a discussion about decision-making through a method I have been using for many years. I could say I’ve used this method my entire life, but that wouldn’t be accurate. There have been entire decades when I discarded it and relied on other parameters instead—parameters aligned with social conditioning, pleasure, and the avoidance of pain. This method is related to stepping away from both body-based and soul-based trajectories within the light/dark paradigm (the material we came in with) and choosing outside of our personal trajectory altogether. The idea of a personal trajectory is actually a very recent invention. Historically, a person did not consider their life path primarily in terms of personal benefit, pleasure, wants, or pain avoidance. These considerations are quite modern—and not natural. Our natural state is to be cradled within the human collective. As part of that collective, we follow the path that brings the greatest benefit and harmony to the whole. It is widely recognized that we are living in unnatural times. As a result, our natural way of making decisions has become difficult—and largely forgotten. We are left asking questions like: How do I make decisions that guarantee what I want out of life? When “what I want out of life” was never a natural reference point to begin with? So what, then, are we left to make decisions from? Most people rely on either the body or the soul to guide them through the decision-making process, while leaving larger existential considerations entirely out of the room. Whenever I talk about including a larger purpose, mission, or collective well-being in p…

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