# Why Trying Harder Is Making Your Sex Life Worse | Ep. 179

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/doing-it-together-making-sense-of-low-libido-sex-and-intimacy-in-marriage-5614621/why-trying-harder-is-making-your-sex-life-worse-ep-179
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/doing-it-together-making-sense-of-low-libido-sex-and-intimacy-in-marriage-5614621/why-trying-harder-is-making-your-sex-life-worse-ep-179.md
Podcast: [Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.](https://stenobird.com/podcast/doing-it-together-making-sense-of-low-libido-sex-and-intimacy-in-marriage-5614621)
Published: 2026-01-21T15:42:26+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasts.helloaudio.fm/download/UqXyMlH7jf/fb1c264b-c9e2-4b83-b449-5fe04e1fb978.mp3
Audio file: https://podcasts.helloaudio.fm/download/UqXyMlH7jf/fb1c264b-c9e2-4b83-b449-5fe04e1fb978.mp3
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Duration seconds: 1207

## Resource

There is no shortcut to heal from a toxic world that has tricked us into thinking sex is just a series of acts designed to physically stimulate us. The only way through is to slow down, unlearn and heal- not just for your marriage but for your well-being.  It’s understanding safety, not just physically, but emotionally. It’s questioning the model of sex you were handed, instead of trying to perform it better. It’s rebuilding trust with your own body. And, when you’re doing this together, it’s learning how to create a sexual environment that doesn’t require forcing, convincing, or enduring. This is exactly what I talk about in the podcast episode today- why trying harder is often the very thing that makes sex feel worse, not better. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.

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## Transcript

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