# What Your Jealousy Is Actually Telling You

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/what-your-jealousy-is-actually-telling-you
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/what-your-jealousy-is-actually-telling-you.md
Podcast: [Do As We Say, Not As They Did](https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812)
Published: 2026-07-01T07:30:00+00:00
Episode link: https://bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9.libsyn.com/what-your-jealousy-is-actually-telling-you
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9/DAWS_Ep_16.mp3?dest-id=5300385
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/episodes/what-your-jealousy-is-actually-telling-you
Duration seconds: 4616

## Resource

Are some people just wired for jealousy, with no hope of changing, or is it actually the check engine light for your relationship? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell discuss Psychology with Dr. Ana's YouTube video, "Turns Out Jealousy Isn't Always a You Problem." The video reveals research that suggests nearly 40% of jealousy may be driven by relationship dynamics rather than individual personality traits. Harris gets to dust off his English degrees as they talk about the difference between jealousy and envy, and why it's an important distinction to make. They also dig into attachment styles, how insecurity and relationship instability fuel jealousy, and why most of the internet gives truly terrible relationship advice. And between the tangents about Masters of the Universe and psychology deep cuts, they tackle: Whether a relationship can survive cheating Why people cheat (and why that's different from excusing cheating) Adult content and the panic around whether it's cheating Why polyamorous people get jealous too How to communicate difficult emotions without blame If you've convinced yourself you're doomed to an anxious or avoidant attachment style, or that you'll always be jealous when your partner talks to someone else, give this episode a listen. Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro and the least subtle transition to jealousy ever 01:21 - Jealousy in non-monogamy 07:05 - Jealousy vs. envy 10:18 - Today's video: "Turns Out Jealousy Isn't Always a You Problem" 12:53 - Emotional jealousy vs cognitive jealousy explained 16:08 - Why men reported higher levels of cognitive jealousy 18:10 - Jealousy as a relationship signal 22:02 - Questions to ask yourself when jealousy shows up 24:18 - Rejection-sensitive dysphoria and fear of aba…

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