# The Lie Incels and Looksmaxxers Are Trying to Sell You

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/the-lie-incels-and-looksmaxxers-are-trying-to-sell-you
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/the-lie-incels-and-looksmaxxers-are-trying-to-sell-you.md
Podcast: [Do As We Say, Not As They Did](https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812)
Published: 2026-05-13T06:30:00+00:00
Episode link: https://bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9.libsyn.com/the-lie-incels-and-looksmaxxers-are-trying-to-sell-you
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9/Ep_10.mp3?dest-id=5300385
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/episodes/the-lie-incels-and-looksmaxxers-are-trying-to-sell-you
Duration seconds: 5233

## Resource

Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it's gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a harmful separation of sex and humanity. They dig into: There is nothing you can do to guarantee romance or success in dating (and that's okay!) How looksmaxxing is more about status with other men than appealing to women The role of shame, unprocessed grief, and the just-world fallacy Attraction isn't math (it's actually just phrenology) What you can do to actually be more attractive to women! So put down the hammer, say no to drugs, and take it from people who aren't trying to sell you something: the only thing you need for happy, fulfilling romantic relationships is a personality (and a killer stroganoff recipe wouldn't hurt, either). Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro & Clavicular update and context 04:16 - What is looksmaxxing (and why it's everywhere) 05:43 - The origins and rise of looksmaxxing 13:17 - The determinism and lack of accountability in this community 16:48 - Entitlement to women's bodies and sexual access 20:28 - Broken generational promises 29:13 - Gen Z's obsession with gooning 32:00 - Reducing your own humanity with the "Sexual Market Value" scale 36:16 - Softmaxxing vs hardmaxxing 37:17 - The harm steroids and meth can cause 41:25 - How Clavicular embodies the grift and attention economy 44:48 - The white supremacist origins of looksmaxxing ideals 48:10 - Why this is…

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