# Are You Missing These Relationship Red Flags?

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/are-you-missing-these-relationship-red-flags
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/are-you-missing-these-relationship-red-flags.md
Podcast: [Do As We Say, Not As They Did](https://stenobird.com/podcast/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812)
Published: 2026-08-19T05:30:00+00:00
Episode link: https://bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9.libsyn.com/are-you-missing-these-relationship-red-flags
Audio file: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/bcddb042-54aa-4575-834d-8f65ebfb49f9/DAWS_23.mp3?dest-id=5300385
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/do-as-we-say-not-as-they-did-7726812/episodes/are-you-missing-these-relationship-red-flags
Duration seconds: 4384

## Resource

If your partner starts talking to you in a different language the first time you get in bed together, what would your reaction be? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley get back to their Reddit-y roots with two stories that seem wildly different, but both boil down to the same thing: communication. First, they hear from a woman whose first time with her boyfriend did not go how she expected. They both speak Spanish, but he suddenly burst into English and moved her from position to position. Then (prepare yourself for this one), a woman's boyfriend refuses to help her with normal tasks, but gets angry at her when she finds another way to accomplish them. Highlights of the episode: Why you should look at adult films in the same way you watch Fast & Furious How to ask for what you want without killing the mood What looks good on camera doesn't always feel good The truth about the "friend zone" (men, you're doing it too) Is your partner helping you succeed or setting you up to fail? If you're not entirely satisfied with what's happening in the bedroom, you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells around your partner, or you're somewhere in between, this episode has resources, practical tips, and plenty of strong opinions about building relationships that feel good to be in. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome to the episode 01:10 - Reddit story #1: "First time with boyfriend felt more like a performance" 04:41 - The difference between connection and performance 05:31 - It's okay to slow down! 06:35 - Fast & Furious is not educational, and neither are adult films 08:21 - Some positions are made for cameras instead of pleasure 13:37 - Take the time to learn what your partner likes 18:05 - Safewords are for everyone 20:22 - Why coup…

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## Transcript

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