# What to Say to a Friend Going Through Divorce (When You Don't Know What to Say) with Olivia Howell

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/divorce-happens-6931880/what-to-say-to-a-friend-going-through-divorce-when-you-don-t-know-what-to-say-with-olivia-howell
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/divorce-happens-6931880/what-to-say-to-a-friend-going-through-divorce-when-you-don-t-know-what-to-say-with-olivia-howell.md
Podcast: [Divorce Happens](https://stenobird.com/podcast/divorce-happens-6931880)
Published: 2026-06-23T22:05:00+00:00
Episode link: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/divorce-happens
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/14e3e5db-4e16-4173-8e10-14e0e4ebde6e.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/divorce-happens-6931880/episodes/what-to-say-to-a-friend-going-through-divorce-when-you-don-t-know-what-to-say-with-olivia-howell
Duration seconds: 399

## Resource

Someone you love is going through a divorce, and you want to show up for them — you just have no idea how. This episode of Divorce Happens is for you: the friends, the sisters, the coworkers, and the neighbors who found out and froze, terrified of saying the wrong thing. Olivia Howell flips the usual script and talks not to the person in the divorce, but to the people who love them — and she opens with a relief so many supporters need to hear: the fact that you're even asking how to help already puts you ahead. The people who do the most damage aren't the ones who fumble their words; they're the ones who say nothing at all, who disappear because they're uncomfortable. If you're here trying to figure out how to support a friend going through divorce, you're already doing something right. The heart of this episode is a single freeing truth: you do not need the perfect words. When someone we love is in pain, we want to say the thing that fixes it — but divorce grief isn't fixable with words, and your friend doesn't need a solution. They need to feel less alone, and that's something you can give without having a single right answer. Olivia shares the simplest, most underused, most powerful sentence there is: “I don't know what to say, but I'm not going anywhere.” For someone whose deepest fear right now is being abandoned — by their partner, their social circle, the whole life they built — knowing you are not one of the people leaving is worth more than any advice. She's equally clear about what not to say: skip “I never liked them anyway” (it complicates their pain instead of validating it), skip “everything happens for a reason” and “you'll be so much better off” (true or not, it rushes them past grief they haven't finished feeling), and please don't make it about you —…

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## Transcript

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