Episode
Hey Olivia, We Told the Kids About the Divorce — Now the Questions Won't Stop. What Do I Say?
- Podcast
- Divorce Happens
- Published
- Jun 11, 2026
- Duration seconds
- 501
- Processing state
not_requested- Canonical source
- https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/divorce-happens
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Summary
How do you answer your kids' questions about divorce when you're barely holding yourself together? In this solo "Hey Olivia" episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a letter from a parent whose kids seemed "fine" when they first heard about the divorce — and are now flooding her with questions. Where will I sleep? Will I still see my friends? Do you still love each other? Is it my fault? If you've already told your kids about the divorce and the questions won't stop, this episode is the steadying guide you've been looking for. Olivia explains why that "fine in the moment" reaction is textbook child psychology, why the wave of questions is actually a sign of trust, and the three things your kids truly need to hear — repeated as often as they need them. She shares a skill that changes how these conversations feel: listening for the question underneath the question, and answering the fear instead of the surface. And she talks honestly about you — how to stay emotionally present for your children while you're grieving too, without having to be perfect or have a script ready for every hard moment. IN THIS EPISODE: Why kids often seem "too okay" at first — and why the questions come later How the flood of questions is a sign of trust and attachment, not a sign you got it wrong The three anchors every child needs to hear: this is not your fault, you'll be loved and cared for by both of us, you'll always have a home Why "I don't know yet, but we're working on it" is an honest, appropriate answer The skill of listening for the question underneath the question — and answering the fear beneath it How to directly and completely address "Is this my fault?" — even before they ask it out loud Giving yourself permission to say "Let me think about that and come back to you" M…