# Spotlight | When Kids Carry Adult Pain: A Conversation with Tommy Herschell

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/divorce-and-separation-4057803/spotlight-when-kids-carry-adult-pain-a-conversation-with-tommy-herschell
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/divorce-and-separation-4057803/spotlight-when-kids-carry-adult-pain-a-conversation-with-tommy-herschell.md
Podcast: [Divorce and Separation](https://stenobird.com/podcast/divorce-and-separation-4057803)
Published: 2025-12-03T19:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://divorceandseparationhub.com/podcast/
Audio file: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/thedivorceandseparationpodcast/DSH_AOD_PODCAST_tommy_herschel_241125.mp3?dest-id=2900636
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/divorce-and-separation-4057803/episodes/spotlight-when-kids-carry-adult-pain-a-conversation-with-tommy-herschell
Duration seconds: 1918

## Resource

Children feel the impact of separation long before they can explain it and many carry those early wounds into adulthood. In this episode, I'm joined by Tommy Herschell , founder of Find Ya Feet , to explore what can happen for kids during a family breakdown and how those early experiences can shape boys and men for decades. Tommy shares his own story, his parents' separation when he was 10 years old, the years of self-blame, and the emotional crash in his mid-30s that forced him to face what he'd been carrying. We talk about how unspoken pain shows up in kids' behaviour, why emotional safety matters, and the patterns that often follow boys into adulthood. We also touch on what parents can do differently during separation, including: – communicating without overwhelming – staying respectful about the other parent – modelling emotional regulation – protecting kids from adult burdens This conversation is raw, grounded, and full of insight about what children feel but rarely say and what it takes to help them find their feet again. Let's Keep the Conversation Going: Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this. Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub. The Divorce and Separation Hub Website The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE . Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE . Guest: Tommy Herschel Founder of Find Ya Feet Find Ya Feet Website Find Ya Feet Instagram Find Ya Feet Facebook Merch Loved This Episode? Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sh…

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## Transcript

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