# 413: 'Is this ever going to happen for me??' (Violet Lange)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303/413-is-this-ever-going-to-happen-for-me-violet-lange
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303/413-is-this-ever-going-to-happen-for-me-violet-lange.md
Podcast: [Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women](https://stenobird.com/podcast/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303)
Published: 2026-05-15T10:00:18+00:00
Episode link: http://www.melaniecurtin.com
Audio file: https://audio2.redcircle.com/episodes/075c5db5-d8b8-4049-8525-35a5c4c36736/stream.mp3
Processing state: not_requested
JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303/episodes/413-is-this-ever-going-to-happen-for-me-violet-lange
Duration seconds: 3904

## Resource

You know the feeling. You've been holding a vision — for the partner, the family, the sex life you actually want — for months. Maybe years. Maybe decades. And it's still not here. And underneath the longing, there's a quieter, scarier question: Is there something wrong with me that it hasn't happened yet? Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Violet Lang and I have an honest conversation about what it actually takes to hold a long-term vision without collapsing or giving up. We speak vulnerably from experiences in our own lives, as well as the lives of hundreds of clients with whom we've worked. Violet walks us through her fertility journey (including two devastating miscarriages, failed IVF, and ultimately the path of donor embryo) — which she never would have chosen without being brought to her knees first. She also shares her journey from dissociating during sex and fearing that maybe she was broken — to a genuinely thriving sex life. I share my own stretch — over a year of unstable housing while trying to co-found a group house, watching teams fall apart, deals fall through, and feeling a good amount of despair. And my 10-year vision of a conscious romantic partner that's still unfolding. We dig into what actually moves the needle; why the closer you get, the harder it sometimes feels; what Violet calls "initiation" — and why you cannot do this alone. Plus, a client story: a woman who, 8 years post-divorce, went on barely 2-3 dates and completely shut down after a shady situation. And then, within a few months of doing the work, met her partner at a coffee shop when he held the door open for her. They've been together since 2017. And a note for the men listening: conscious men who do personal growth work stand out! There are fewer of you than you think, and it ma…

## Actions

- request_transcript: `POST https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303/episodes/413-is-this-ever-going-to-happen-for-me-violet-lange/transcription-requests` — Idempotently request low-priority transcript generation for this episode.
- read_markdown: `GET https://stenobird.com/podcast/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303/413-is-this-ever-going-to-happen-for-me-violet-lange.md` — Read the agent-friendly Markdown representation of this episode resource.

A page view does not enqueue transcription. Agents should invoke `request_transcript` explicitly when they need this episode processed.

## Transcript

Full transcripts are not published on public pages unless there is a clear rights basis.