# 408: What if your blocks to love aren't even yours? (ft. Violet Lange)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303/408-what-if-your-blocks-to-love-aren-t-even-yours-ft-violet-lange
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303/408-what-if-your-blocks-to-love-aren-t-even-yours-ft-violet-lange.md
Podcast: [Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women](https://stenobird.com/podcast/dear-men-how-to-rock-sex-dating-and-relationships-with-women-1013303)
Published: 2026-04-10T10:00:52+00:00
Episode link: http://www.melaniecurtin.com
Audio file: https://audio2.redcircle.com/episodes/883cf189-66fc-4c93-9e98-01c13a246e58/stream.mp3
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Duration seconds: 2745

## Resource

Ever felt like there's something blocking you in love — something you can't quite name, but keeps showing up? Maybe you've got anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment traits, or you've sacrificed your needs for others or struggled to own your sexual attraction. It's easy to feel like our issues in our sex or loves lives are all our fault, and all ours to fix. But what if something bigger is going on? Here we explore one of the most fascinating -- and still somewhat underground -- healing modalities out there: Constellations (aka Family Constellations). Constellations is the practice of looking at the broader system you come from — your family, your lineage, generations back — to understand why you might be stuck in patterns that don't make sense given your own life experience alone. Here Violet breaks down how blocks to love, intimacy, and connection are often not about you at all, but about grief, trauma, or exclusion that happened long before you arrived. Think: your grandfather came back from war a different man, and somehow, decades later, you can't quite open your heart. Or as one participant put it, "I had no idea that what I was holding onto wasn't even mine." The really cool part? You don't have to do anything. As the client, you get to watch the healing unfold. We share where this practice comes from (rooted in Zulu tradition, brought to the West by German therapist Bert Hellinger), how it interfaces with epigenetics, and what it actually feels like to receive a constellation. Plus — if you're intrigued, we're doing a live constellations event on April 18th focused on healing your relationship with the feminine. Details below. "The Field has its own intelligence. There's no one clear leader. And it will show us what we need to see — the next important st…

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## Transcript

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