# 342: Discovering Your Communication Type with Jason VanRuler

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/crystal-paine-show-893314/342-discovering-your-communication-type-with-jason-vanruler
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/crystal-paine-show-893314/342-discovering-your-communication-type-with-jason-vanruler.md
Podcast: [Crystal Paine Show](https://stenobird.com/podcast/crystal-paine-show-893314)
Published: 2026-04-14T07:00:16+00:00
Episode link: http://crystalpaine.com/
Audio file: https://audio4.redcircle.com/episodes/f6b8a1c1-cb2b-4fc4-b1be-c7f0b87f80e0/stream.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/crystal-paine-show-893314/episodes/342-discovering-your-communication-type-with-jason-vanruler
Duration seconds: 1813

## Resource

I am truly so excited for this episode because, honestly, it felt like a little therapy session for me, and I really hope that it gives you some aha moments too! I am talking with Jason VanRuler about his book Discovering Your Communication Type: The Five Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships , and right from the start as I read it, I was hooked. I could see how the insights would help me with my husband, my kids, and my friendships because it’s practical, relatable, and so surprisingly accessible - like someone finally saying, “Here’s how this actually works,” without all the jargon! Jason walks us through the five communication styles that make up his PATHS model - Peacemaker, Advocate, Thinker, Harbor, and Spark - and he explains how our words are driven by different motivations: maintaining peace, standing up for what’s right, being logically correct, protecting feelings, or bringing energy and momentum. He and I get into how knowing your style (as well as the styles of those around you) can truly change your conversations, especially when conflict or stress shows up. I had one of those aha moments when I realized that I have been showing up in relationships in ways I think are expected of me, instead of who I am actually wired to be, and yes, that includes my husband and me missing each other mid-conversation more than I’d like to admit. We also discuss how these patterns can also have strong impacts on parenting, friendships, and even self-care, and one story that hit me hard was realizing that holding out my “I got this, let me help you” sign often keeps people at arm’s length because vulnerability feels too risky. Learning to express my needs without fear has been such a huge game-changer. Listen as Jason shares some practical tips for seeing d…

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## Transcript

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