# 157.  Why I Don’t Make Kids Apologize (And What I Do Instead)

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Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/counselor-chat-podcast-6074475/157-why-i-don-t-make-kids-apologize-and-what-i-do-instead.md
Podcast: [Counselor Chat Podcast](https://stenobird.com/podcast/counselor-chat-podcast-6074475)
Published: 2026-04-08T09:15:00+00:00
Episode link: https://counselingessentials.org/captivate-podcast/157-why-i-dont-make-kids-apologize-and-what-i-do-instead
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/56edf023-9063-483a-ba5d-31c107cec4bd.mp3
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Duration seconds: 566

## Resource

Why I Don’t Make Kids Apologize (And What I Do Instead) 💭 Episode Overview We’ve all said it: “Go apologize.” But what if that moment isn’t actually teaching accountability? In this episode, I’m sharing why I don’t force apologies—and what I do instead to help students take real ownership, build empathy, and repair relationships in a meaningful way. 🔑 Key Takeaways An apology is not the same as accountability Forced apologies often teach compliance—not empathy Students need understanding before they can offer a genuine repair Slowing down the process leads to better long-term behavior and relationships ✨ Key Insight “When we force an apology before a student is ready, we’re not teaching empathy… we’re teaching compliance.” 🛠️ Resources Mentioned Think Sheets Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcast Join Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months! Connect with Carol: TpT Store Counseling Essentials Website Instagram Facebook Elementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook Group Caught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook Group High School Counselor Connection Facebook Group Mentioned in this episode: Perks Membership

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