# 30: Discover your relationship attachment style with Serafin Upton

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/clear-the-air-6093986/30-discover-your-relationship-attachment-style-with-serafin-upton
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/clear-the-air-6093986/30-discover-your-relationship-attachment-style-with-serafin-upton.md
Podcast: [Clear the air](https://stenobird.com/podcast/clear-the-air-6093986)
Published: 2025-02-26T03:18:24+00:00
Episode link: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/30-discover-your-relationship-attachment-style-with-serafin-upton--64576751
Audio file: https://api.spreaker.com/download/episode/64576751/episode_30_clear_thea_air_serafin_upton_audio.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/clear-the-air-6093986/episodes/30-discover-your-relationship-attachment-style-with-serafin-upton
Duration seconds: 3666

## Resource

As the saying goes, “Love is a verb,” and healthy relationships require intention, attention, time, and care. However, from our Clearhead data, we can see out of all of the people on our platform who said they were struggling with mental health challenges due to personal reasons, “General Relationship Struggles,” “Family Difficulties,” and “Partner Difficulties” were the top 3 issues people were dealing with. To help us grasp a greater understanding of what a fulfilling relationship should look like, how we can find them, and more importantly how to maintain them, our expert guest today is Serafin Upton. Serafin’s biography: Serafin Upton has worked in New Zealand and Australia as a family, couples' and sex therapist for over 20 years. On top of her extensive experience and qualifications, she has also trained under world-renowned sex and relationship therapists Esther Perel and Terry Real. In this episode, we dive deep into answering the following thorny questions: 00:00 - Intro 01:55 - Serafin’s journey to becoming a couples, child, family, and sex therapist 03:25 - What is the common fear that everyone has regardless of their stage of life 04:40 - What are the skills you need to develop to have healthy relationships 06:20 - What is one thing you can do to become more attuned to someone you care about 08:30 - How can you stay present for your romantic partner when you are really busy 10:40 - How reflecting back and following up with your partner is key 12:30 - Can your attachment style change depending on the relationship? 14:05 - How to develop a secure attachment style if you have an avoidant attachment style 16:15 - How to develop a secure attachment style if you have an anxious attachment style 17:45 - How does emotional intimacy vs physical intimacy change over…

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## Transcript

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