# E126 Stop Chasing Approval - Start Choosing Yourself

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/classic-advice-a-mental-health-podcast-guidance-for-resilient-souls-anchoring-calm-amid-the-chaos-6932346/e126-stop-chasing-approval-start-choosing-yourself
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/classic-advice-a-mental-health-podcast-guidance-for-resilient-souls-anchoring-calm-amid-the-chaos-6932346/e126-stop-chasing-approval-start-choosing-yourself.md
Podcast: [Classic Advice - A Mental Health Podcast, Guidance for Resilient Souls Anchoring Calm Amid the Chaos](https://stenobird.com/podcast/classic-advice-a-mental-health-podcast-guidance-for-resilient-souls-anchoring-calm-amid-the-chaos-6932346)
Published: 2026-04-18T07:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/scarlett752/episodes/E126-Stop-Chasing-Approval---Start-Choosing-Yourself-e3huv37
Audio file: https://anchor.fm/s/f3a0c898/podcast/play/118503975/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-3-15%2Fda3cb14a-8842-9c0d-7458-3c656759512a.mp3
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Duration seconds: 1705

## Resource

Stop sacrificing your identity to meet the expectations of others. Learn how to transition from seeking external validation to building internal self-trust.

## Highlights
- Main idea: Seeking approval as a metric for self-worth creates an endless, exhausting loop of performance
- Failure mode: Tying your worth to others' reactions makes you vulnerable to being misunderstood or rejected
- Practical takeaway: Use boundaries to protect your energy, even when others react with disappointment
- Main idea: Authentic living attracts the right people who value your true self rather than a curated mask
- Practical takeaway: Start small by making one decision today purely for your own well-being

## Topics

Mental Health, Self-Validation, People Pleasing, Boundaries, Self-Esteem, Personal Growth, Authenticity, Emotional Resilience

## Chapters
- 1:00 — The Trap of Being 'Easygoing': Exploring how the desire to be liked often masks a deeper habit of changing oneself to please others.
- 3:00 — The Cost of Living for Others: Why building a life based on external expectations prevents you from creating a life you actually love.
- 5:10 — Losing Identity in New Environments: A personal reflection on how cultural shifts and social pressure can lead to losing your authentic self.
- 9:20 — The Cycle of Earned Worth: How relying on temporary validation creates a cycle of needing to constantly prove your value.
- 11:10 — The Futility of People-Pleasing: Recognizing that pleasing everyone is impossible because different people will always interpret the same action differently.
- 19:40 — The Discomfort of Rebuilding Self: Navigating the 'weird' and guilty feelings that arise when you first start prioritizing your own needs.
- 26:10 — The Benefits of Authenticity: How checking in with yourself leads to increased confidence and more genuine human connections.

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## Transcript

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