# 19. YUL Creativity-Pt. 3 — The Trauma Llama

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/chemstories-a-podcast-about-pnp-chemsex-english-language-edition-7696069/19-yul-creativity-pt-3-the-trauma-llama
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/chemstories-a-podcast-about-pnp-chemsex-english-language-edition-7696069/19-yul-creativity-pt-3-the-trauma-llama.md
Podcast: [Chemstories – a podcast about PnP/chemsex (English-language edition)](https://stenobird.com/podcast/chemstories-a-podcast-about-pnp-chemsex-english-language-edition-7696069)
Published: 2026-04-17T16:19:00+00:00
Episode link: https://chemstories.podbean.com/e/19-yul-creativity-pt-3-%e2%80%94-the-trauma-llama/
Audio file: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/wh3233g54cdnzz3u/19_YUL_Creativity-Pt_3_The_Trauma_Llamabdn4p.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/chemstories-a-podcast-about-pnp-chemsex-english-language-edition-7696069/episodes/19-yul-creativity-pt-3-the-trauma-llama
Duration seconds: 2018

## Resource

Éric, Gabriel, and Mikiki explore the tension between suffering and pleasure in chemsex, challenging the narrative that addiction stems solely from pain. They reflect on how substance use initially served as an "antidote" to perfectionism and trauma before spiraling into shame and isolation. The group discusses art's role in processing these experiences; Gabriel shares how his "DEAR VICKY" collection mourns his life before HIV while pivoting toward hope. Mikiki emphasizes curiosity over judgment and the value of humor. The episode concludes by urging listeners to embrace creative expression as a vital means of connection and survival. If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.

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## Transcript

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