# EP 30: Maria & Madge: The Fixer’s Trap — When Control Becomes Comfort

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/breaking-up-with-toxicity-6618238/ep-30-maria-madge-the-fixer-s-trap-when-control-becomes-comfort
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/breaking-up-with-toxicity-6618238/ep-30-maria-madge-the-fixer-s-trap-when-control-becomes-comfort.md
Podcast: [Breaking Cycles with Maria](https://stenobird.com/podcast/breaking-up-with-toxicity-6618238)
Published: 2026-06-11T13:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://breaking-up-with-toxicity.captivate.fm
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/40b09780-9271-4c12-9bd3-e4c940756bdd.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/breaking-up-with-toxicity-6618238/episodes/ep-30-maria-madge-the-fixer-s-trap-when-control-becomes-comfort
Duration seconds: 2663

## Resource

In this episode of Breaking Cycles with Maria, Maria and Madge explore a question many people quietly struggle with: Why do some of us feel responsible for fixing everything—and everyone? What begins as a conversation about problem-solving quickly reveals something deeper: the connection between anxiety, control, perfectionism, and the need to keep everything "just right" in order to feel okay. Maria challenges Madge to examine how fixing, organizing, cleaning, and managing situations can become ways of soothing internal discomfort. Together, they discuss anxiety, OCD tendencies, self-imposed rules, retirement, loneliness, and the difficulty of sitting with discomfort instead of immediately trying to make it disappear. The conversation also takes a personal turn as they explore friendship, aging, health challenges, independence, and what it means to stop fixing everyone else and start focusing on yourself. If you've ever thought: "I'll feel better when this is done." "I have to take care of everything." "No one will do it right unless I do it." "I can't relax until everything is in order." This episode is for you. Because sometimes the thing we're trying to control isn't our environment—it's our anxiety. And sometimes the hardest thing to fix is ourselves.

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## Transcript

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