# EP 17: You Think You’re Empathetic… But You’re Probably Not: The Three Empathies You Never Learned

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/breaking-up-with-toxicity-6618238/ep-17-you-think-you-re-empathetic-but-you-re-probably-not-the-three-empathies-you-never-learned
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/breaking-up-with-toxicity-6618238/ep-17-you-think-you-re-empathetic-but-you-re-probably-not-the-three-empathies-you-never-learned.md
Podcast: [Breaking Cycles with Maria](https://stenobird.com/podcast/breaking-up-with-toxicity-6618238)
Published: 2025-11-29T13:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://breaking-up-with-toxicity.captivate.fm
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/cf7a0be0-c508-4139-8c90-d1d8212bfa11.mp3
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Duration seconds: 938

## Resource

Most people walk around proudly believing they’re “empathetic.” But here’s the truth: you probably only have **one** of the three empathies — and the misalignment between what you think you’re giving and what others actually need is quietly blowing up your relationships. In this episode, Maria Shkreli breaks down the REAL psychology of empathy: Cognitive, Emotional, and Compassionate. What they are, how they develop, why most people only master one, and how these mismatches create conflict, resentment, emotional distance, and constant misunderstandings. You’ll hear: • The full explanation of each empathy type • Why empathy exists on a spectrum — not a personality trait • Six real-life scenarios that expose how misalignment shows up in partners, friends, parents, and coworkers • Why you keep expecting people to show up emotionally in ways they are literally not wired or trained to do • And the twist that makes all of this even more complicated: **your attachment style** By the end of this episode, you’ll finally understand why you feel misunderstood, why others seem insensitive or “too emotional,” and why some people are amazing in crisis but terrible at comfort. This is the episode that will make you see yourself — and everyone around you — differently. Next week: When Empathy Meets Attachment: Why You Misread People Even When You Think You Understand Them.

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## Transcript

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