# Ep. 35 | When "Good Parenting" Meets Brains That Don’t Work Typically

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/brain-first-parenting-with-eileen-devine-7069827/ep-35-when-good-parenting-meets-brains-that-don-t-work-typically
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/brain-first-parenting-with-eileen-devine-7069827/ep-35-when-good-parenting-meets-brains-that-don-t-work-typically.md
Podcast: [Brain First Parenting with Eileen Devine](https://stenobird.com/podcast/brain-first-parenting-with-eileen-devine-7069827)
Published: 2026-02-09T10:00:45+00:00
Episode link: https://podcasts.helloaudio.fm/download/ZzWs5wxw7J/17d5f725-381d-43d6-bfbe-f7265712d912.mp3
Audio file: https://podcasts.helloaudio.fm/download/ZzWs5wxw7J/17d5f725-381d-43d6-bfbe-f7265712d912.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/brain-first-parenting-with-eileen-devine-7069827/episodes/ep-35-when-good-parenting-meets-brains-that-don-t-work-typically
Duration seconds: 1396

## Resource

SUMMARY - Many parenting struggles with neurodivergent kids don’t come down to behavior, they come from a clash between deeply held parental values and a child’s brain-based capacities. In this episode, Eileen explores what happens when beliefs about “good parenting” collide with asynchronous development, emotional regulation challenges, and inconsistent cognitive skills. You’ll learn why pushing harder often backfires and how shifting from a behavior lens to a Brain First lens allows your parental values to actually take root. TAKEAWAYS: Parenting frustration often lives at the intersection of adult values and a child’s neurobiology, not a lack of effort or care. Chronological age does not equal ability for kids with brain-based differences; uneven skill development changes what’s reasonable to expect. You don’t need to abandon your parental values, you need to adjust how you teach them so they align with your child’s cognitive skills. You cannot consequence a skill into existence; responsibility develops through repeated teaching, regulation, and scaffolding. Flexibility in rules and expectations is not permissive parenting, it’s responsive parenting that reduces power struggles and supports growth. RESOURCES: Your Lens Matters – Free downloadable infographic ======================= If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE ! You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media: Facebook Instagram YouTube Pinterest

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## Transcript

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