# Anxious? Avoidant? How to Build More Secure Relationships

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/big-brains-1022699/anxious-avoidant-how-to-build-more-secure-relationships
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/big-brains-1022699/anxious-avoidant-how-to-build-more-secure-relationships.md
Podcast: [Big Brains](https://stenobird.com/podcast/big-brains-1022699)
Published: 2026-04-16T12:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://big-brains.simplecast.com/episodes/anxious-avoidant-how-to-build-more-secure-relationships-lhxCzJds
Audio file: https://afp-920658-injected.calisto.simplecastaudio.com/b15505d2-a359-4f02-b0c3-b7602dbe79f1/episodes/1d690bca-b38a-4f95-bdff-a006a841afab/audio/128/default.mp3?aid=rss_feed&awCollectionId=b15505d2-a359-4f02-b0c3-b7602dbe79f1&awEpisodeId=1d690bca-b38a-4f95-bdff-a006a841afab&feed=4FF7CAnQ
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/big-brains-1022699/episodes/anxious-avoidant-how-to-build-more-secure-relationships
Duration seconds: 2216

## Resource

What if the way you relate to others isn’t fixed—but fundamentally changeable? In this episode, we speak with psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine, who is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center. He's the author of the best-selling book Attached, which examined how people’s attachment styles—from secure to anxious to avoidant. In his new book, Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life, Levine argues that attachment styles aren’t lifelong labels but actually patterns the brain can relearn. He explores the emerging science of “earned security”—how relationships reshape our neural wiring, why some people feel safe under pressure while others spiral, and what it takes to move from insecurity to stability.

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## Transcript

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