# Why Your PDA Child Isn’t Being Defiant and How to Support Them (Ep. 143 Rerun)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/autistic-and-adhd-kids-parenting-strategies-every-brain-is-different-6469310/why-your-pda-child-isn-t-being-defiant-and-how-to-support-them-ep-143-rerun
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/autistic-and-adhd-kids-parenting-strategies-every-brain-is-different-6469310/why-your-pda-child-isn-t-being-defiant-and-how-to-support-them-ep-143-rerun.md
Podcast: [Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is Different](https://stenobird.com/podcast/autistic-and-adhd-kids-parenting-strategies-every-brain-is-different-6469310)
Published: 2026-08-24T04:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://EveryBrainIsDifferent.castos.com
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Duration seconds: 1558

## Resource

In this episode, Samantha and Lauren discuss strategies for effectively parenting children with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). They emphasize the importance of collaboration over direct demands to help children feel more in control and safe, which mitigates reactive behaviors. They explain how giving children choices and involving them in decision-making can prevent the activation of their parasympathetic nervous system, which is linked to anxiety and defensive behaviors. Practical examples like offering options instead of direct commands are given and the importance of flexibility and patience in parenting, particularly for neurodivergent families is discussed. Samantha and Lauren also highlight the significance of co-regulation and maintaining a calm demeanor to support a child's sense of autonomy and safety. A PDA cheat sheet with useful scripts and strategies is available for listeners.

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## Transcript

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