# E 343: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Unhealthy Patterns: Guest: Aaron Gilbert

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/adult-child-of-dysfunction-6619234/e-343-why-you-keep-repeating-the-same-unhealthy-patterns-guest-aaron-gilbert
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/adult-child-of-dysfunction-6619234/e-343-why-you-keep-repeating-the-same-unhealthy-patterns-guest-aaron-gilbert.md
Podcast: [Adult Child of Dysfunction](https://stenobird.com/podcast/adult-child-of-dysfunction-6619234)
Published: 2026-07-11T08:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://adult-child-of-dysfunction.captivate.fm/episode/e-343-aaron-gilbert-audio2830935590
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/1bc5a86b-7b15-404e-bd05-ac0c09e9121a.mp3
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Duration seconds: 2311

## Resource

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't your past... It's the story your past taught you to believe? In this powerful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction , Tammy Vincent sits down with licensed therapist Aaron Gilbert , founder of Boston Evening Therapy Associates, to explore one of the most important concepts in healing from childhood trauma: your default story . From the moment we're born, our brains begin making sense of the world around us. For children growing up in dysfunctional homes, those early experiences often become deeply ingrained beliefs about who we are, what we deserve, and how relationships work. Aaron explains why those beliefs can continue running our lives long after childhood—and how we can begin rewriting them. Together, Tammy and Aaron discuss the difference between understanding your trauma and actually healing from it, why insight alone isn't enough to create lasting change, and how self-acceptance, curiosity, and a safe therapeutic relationship can help people finally break free from old patterns. In this episode you'll discover: What your "default story" is and how it develops Why childhood trauma shapes your beliefs about yourself The difference between understanding trauma and healing trauma Why people continue repeating unhealthy relationship patterns How to quiet your inner critic with curiosity instead of shame Why therapy isn't about fixing you—it's about helping you see new possibilities The surprising importance of nature, self-compassion, and small mindset shifts in the healing process Whether you're struggling with anxiety, shame, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or simply feeling stuck in old emotional patterns, this conversation offers practical insights and hope. Your childhood may have written your first chapter. It d…

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