# 13. At Least Dad Did a Load of Washing... Her 9-Year-Old Said It Mid-Fight. That Was the Bar.

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/adhd-mums-6363089/13-at-least-dad-did-a-load-of-washing-her-9-year-old-said-it-mid-fight-that-was-the-bar
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/adhd-mums-6363089/13-at-least-dad-did-a-load-of-washing-her-9-year-old-said-it-mid-fight-that-was-the-bar.md
Podcast: [ADHD Mums](https://stenobird.com/podcast/adhd-mums-6363089)
Published: 2026-07-06T19:00:00+00:00
Episode link: https://adhdmums.com.au/captivate/she-went-on-strike-from-the-mental-load-by-thursday-shed-bought-her-husband-a-present
Audio file: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/fa649bb5-4f53-4e52-bc82-b5eda998e936.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/adhd-mums-6363089/episodes/13-at-least-dad-did-a-load-of-washing-her-9-year-old-said-it-mid-fight-that-was-the-bar
Duration seconds: 1676

## Resource

Have you ever made a deal with yourself at the end of a really bad week — that's it, I'm not doing it anymore, I'm only doing what he does — and then washed up three times by Tuesday without noticing? Have you ever bought him something mid-fight when you were supposed to be on strike? Have you ever lost it because your nine-year-old defended his dad by pointing out he did one load of washing, as if that was the bar? I couldn't stop thinking about a listener who did all three in one week. I texted a friend about her. I went for coffee and talked about her. I followed up to find out what happened. What she said next, I genuinely did not see coming. What we cover Have you ever declared you're done, you're not doing it anymore, and then found yourself doing it anyway — and genuinely not noticed until it was done The thing your body does mid-fight that looks like making up but isn't — and why it fires even when you're the one who's angry Why your hands win the war three times before lunch — and the one-second move that interrupts it Why the guilt fires when you stop, not when you're drowning — and what guilt is actually doing in your house What your daughter learns watching a 40-year trained adult put something down — no speech needed The slam tour — passive-aggressive cleaning, the self-cleaning oven moment, and what we're really hoping he'll see Why your body won't sleep even when everything is fine — and the scientific name for it The question to ask yourself the next time your hands move before your brain does: am I doing this because I want to, or am I scared of what'll happen if I don't Free resources Household Family Meeting Template — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/ Energy Accounting Guide — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adh…

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