# Why "I'll Try" Is the Most Dishonest Thing You Can Say (with Carla Ondrasik)

Page: https://stenobird.com/podcast/a-productive-conversation-406235/why-i-ll-try-is-the-most-dishonest-thing-you-can-say-with-carla-ondrasik
Text version: https://stenobird.com/podcast/a-productive-conversation-406235/why-i-ll-try-is-the-most-dishonest-thing-you-can-say-with-carla-ondrasik.md
Podcast: [A Productive Conversation](https://stenobird.com/podcast/a-productive-conversation-406235)
Published: 2026-04-01T07:34:00+00:00
Episode link: https://aproductiveconversation.transistor.fm/s1/651
Audio file: https://media.transistor.fm/bf3601d8/c4f51b81.mp3
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JSON: https://stenobird.com/v1/public/podcasts/a-productive-conversation-406235/episodes/why-i-ll-try-is-the-most-dishonest-thing-you-can-say-with-carla-ondrasik
Duration seconds: 2430

## Resource

This episode is brought to you by Your Clockwise Week—a personalized weekly structure built around your actual life, not an ideal one. If your week feels full but not fitting, you can learn more at mikevardy.com/yourclockwiseweek . Most of us have been taught that trying is virtuous — that saying "I'll try" signals good intentions and a willingness to show up. But what if trying is actually a way of opting out? What if it's the most socially acceptable excuse we've built into our language — a built-in escape hatch dressed up as effort? That's the question that sits at the center of this conversation, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since we recorded. Carla Ondrasik spent twenty years in the competitive world of music publishing — a world where trying, in her words, means dying. She's worked with artists at the highest levels of the industry, and she's spent the last two decades studying the psychology and neuroscience behind why we say we'll try and what it actually costs us. Her book, Stop Trying: The Life Transforming Power of Trying Less and Doing More , is one of those rare reads that reframes something so ordinary and so deeply ingrained that you can't un-see it once it's been named. I know, because she caught me using the word in the middle of our conversation — while talking about her book. That's how deep this goes. Six Discussion Points Trying is a mental activity, not a physical one. Carla makes a simple but devastating distinction: doing is a strong, determined action; trying is the loop you run in your head while the thing stays undone. The "try test" she walks through in the episode makes this viscerally clear in about thirty seconds. We use "try" to avoid accountability — and to avoid saying no. The word opens a door for excuses and blam…

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